Friday, February 6, 2009

wrapped in possibility

i dont even know where to start or where i will finish with this post it's been an interesting few days and i havent had coffee or breakfast yet. and well for those of you who know me i dont function well without both...

i couldnt sleep lat night but i'll get to that later. i left guatamala two days ago. the night before last i stayed in el salvador. they use united states currency which i suppose i havent been up on my current events which i like to pride myself on at least being pretty inclined and aware of what the hell is going on..... anyway that stuck me as i dont know strange and all i could think about is what deal was struck to switch the currency over. i mean over the past 8 years so many volitile, destructive and shady (for lack of a better word) have been done that all i can think about is what else that we dont know about. despite the fact that our favorite bush was best pals with the colombiano. ugh.. yah we have a drug war on our hand ladies and gentlemen can i please get another line???

anyway i have more on that topic but im not really sure this is the right arena to get into it. besides i always like another opinion thrown into the mix... although there arent many that you can get into that kind of conversation with. i am however lucky to have a few.

moving on....

i got into granada nicaragua yesterday. i took an 11 hour bus ride from san salvador to managua then hopped on a bus to granada cause well managua isnt really a place you want to stay. nicaragua is the poorest of all the south american countries but it's goverment makes the most money out of all of them. furthermore there are billbords splashed with pink advocating the "wonderful" man ortega. his billboards scream of advocating god and the church yet he lets his people suffer in poverty as he graces god at his dinner table full of food he probably doesnt even finish. he outlawed abortion 2 yesrs or so ago and although i myself would never subcribe to abortion i do believe that there are some circumstances are justified. the choice needs to made soley by the woman and taking away this right is fueling the suffarage for many women to come. .....sigh.... anyway once i got here i went looking for a hostle. it was quite a treck as the two i knew about and were refferred to were full. great. i am hungry and havent eaten since 9 am and that was in a gas station so you can imagine that it wasnt very full of nutrients. anyway i decided to take a bed at this hostle. ummmmm i couldnt sleep last night all i could think about is there are fucking bed bugs i bet.... now generally speaking i can adapt but dooood this was pushing it a bit. before that i went to eat dinner and as i am sitting waiting for my meal this boy he had to be no more then 9 years old is stumbling through the streets. the most wasted i think i have ever seen anyone in a long time. i gre up with an alcoholic so i am somewhat accostumed to it but thisssss was so disturbing. i wanted to grab him scoop him up take care of him. i wanted to be a millionare to be able to create some kind of foundation for these children. i felt defeated, heavy hearted and worthless. his stumbles, him trying to catch himself when he fell over a table, his head nodding constantly, his mouth hung open and eyes rolled back in his head. that image is etched into the inside of my eyelids and there seems nothing i can do to retrieve or try to ease the feeling that this created. i tired to give him water to have him sit but then a local guy came and called him a drunk and pulled him in his establishment. my food arrived. i was no longer starving but had the gnawing feeling at my heart instead. a little boy maybe 5 came up and sat next to me. asking for food... i cut up some of the meat on my plate and gave it to him. the owner then came outside and told the boy to leave but a few min later a plate of food came out and they fed the boy.... there is good wrapped up in moments where a new hope springs from the depths thinking sometimes sour moments are just the casing and underneath the wrapping of possibility will be shed..... perhaps thats my optomistic side. although i tend to be a realist.

anyway i am going to stay here another day i think i havent decided then i am going to head out to the beach in popoyo. super small town. i need a few days with the sound of the ocean. will help i think.

i have a lot more to say but i am starving!

miss you all and will update later.

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